Buhtt sex?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
