I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize