I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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