I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
