Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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