Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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