My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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