I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
