you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
