now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
