My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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