WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
