My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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