I want to walk on stilts...naked
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
