so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
