Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
