I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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