I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
