You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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