she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
