i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
