Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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