His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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