Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
