if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
