Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
