Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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