I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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