i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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