I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
