using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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