Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
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Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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