am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
