Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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