i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
