playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
operation harelip BJ is a go
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
