Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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