Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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