So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
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One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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