They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
