I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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