I got chris browned last night
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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