he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
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A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
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Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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