so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
