Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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