I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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