There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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