Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
