i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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