I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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