I wanna passion pit in your ass
honey bunches of taint.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
