just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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