I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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