i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
