If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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