I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
