Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
