And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Bring me that man meat
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
