It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
