I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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