we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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