Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
