so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
