You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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