I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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