The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
