Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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