hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
