We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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