Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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