so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
