Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
