Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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