if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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