I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
