Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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