She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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